Aw, man!

Dear Numbnut who stole my wallet:

Enjoy your cancelled credit cards and 8 dollars.

Congrats on another failure. Your parents are proud.

Beep!!!

I'm gonna start carrying around rocks with me so I can hurl them through the rear windows of the cars of asshole drivers.

Today I saw a guy turning left from the center lane on a red light, then flipped off the people who were trying to go straight on their green light. Wouldn't it just blow his mind if a rock came barrelling through his back window?? It would be totally justified.

That settles it. I shall now become the dark angel of jerk drivers. I'm really excited about this.

Daffy

I have two favorite quotes.

Sidebar before I go on: is it possible to have two favorites in the same category? I questioned that as I typed it, and my answer is: yes. Because I said so. To the sticklers who might focus on that: Shhhhh. Can I be excused? "I don't know, CAN you?" Get a life. Now, I say this to remind myself not to be that person. Man, I'm pretty sure I'm going to be a cranky bitch in my old age like everybody else, despite all my efforts to be otherwise.

Now that we've had that talk, my two favorite quotes are as follows:

"Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

and

"The person who waits for a roast duck to fly into their mouth must wait for a very long time."
- Chinese proverb

I respond to the first simply because it epitomizes the way I try to love. I like the idea of being on a team with someone. To be in love, but still get your shit done. It's nice to have some validation, even if it's from the dude that wrote "The Little Prince."

I like the second because it reminds me that I gotta work hard and make my own magic. Laziness is so attractive. I love couches and TVs, but sitting there indulging isn't going to make me successful. So, I've preheated and now it's time to cook that duck.

I'm super hungry.

Dental Insurance

I'm a fan of a certain young lady: she's the star of the Rosewood Dental commercials that air in the Chicagoland area. The script goes like this:

"I was unhappy with the appearance of my teeth. But Rosewood Dental brought my smile back and it didn't hurt a bit."

Now, I see that commercial at least twice a day. I'm not sick of it yet. In fact, my heart skips a beat when it comes on, because then I get to say the words along with her. I'm along for the ride! I give her alot of credit, she did as much as possible with that line. I can just imagine her dissecting the script the night before the shoot. It's a mini-drama... At first she hated how she looked in the mirror. She'd keep her mouth shut during debates and wouldn't smile for pictures. Then Rosewood Dental came along, fixed her jacked up smile AND it didn't hurt! Not one bit! Whew. In her interpretation, that 7 seconds of story has exposition, a dramatic climax, and a denoument. It's a play for people on the go. So nice work, Girl. That's the good news.

The bad news is: I'm positive she got a shitty buyout for an unlimited amount of time. I fear she's being overexposed in a crap commercial and getting 500 bucks for it. I hope I'm wrong. But I'm not.

I appeal to your sense of justice! Let's get this girl some more money! Who's with me? Somebody do something about this before I lose interest!