Saturday, January 27, 2007

Absconding: My Favorite Pastime

Today I did the unthinkable. Hold onto your seat: I saw two movies for the price of one. Take that Kerasotes Chicago Webster Place 11!! I am a buccaneer! It was exhilarating. Don't get me wrong, I'm no innocent. But I've always had a partner in crime while sneaking into theaters between movies, and this time it was a solo operation.
On the negative side, it was a slight blow to the ego. I mean, seriously, am I that forgettable? C'mon, you bored, minimum-wage-collecting theater employee! You just tore my ticket for "Little Children" two hours ago! Remember my luxurious flowing locks and intoxicating scent as I glided past you? No? Ok, that's cool. I'll be in "The Good Shepherd."
Both movies were fantastic in case you were wondering. Five hours and twenty minutes of fantastic. Thanks Oscar Contenders, I'm all set.
On a final note, I have to touch on a pet peeve of mine: people that cushion an extreme emotion with a wimpy precedent. For example, I'm "kind of enraged." How is that possible? If you're enraged, be enraged. If you're not, then be "mad as a wet hen," or something equally lame. Just own up to your lame convictions.
Next week: girls that end every sentence with a question mark.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Finally!

I have a blog! And I did it all on my very own. I didn’t nag my friends with questions, I figured it out for myself! Generally, I'm terrified by computers and websites and all that hullabaloo, but who knew? I’m a technical wizard!

Yeah, I’m going to be honest, this whole ordeal took about 3 hours, so I’m gonna cash in my chips. But before I go, I’d like to give a shout-out to the lovely Jessica Joy, who said, “I can't wait to read your blog obsessively and look to see if I'm mentioned. Which, let's face it, is why we read blogs. Stalking!” She's right.

So, thank you to you folks who have provided me hours (perhaps days) of entertainment with your shameless chronicling. I salute you, and humbly join the ranks.