Merry Christmas!

Meet the luckiest dog in the world: Maximus.

Max lives with my parents in Michigan. In this picture, he's chomping down on his brand new Christmas present. That humongous thing is a bone. Can you stand it? What a spoiled brat. How will he eat it, you're probably wondering?

Like this:



He's doing it!!!

Cinematic Horror

When I'm a famous movie star...

I hope I never have to do a scene where I accidentally walk in on a potential love interest coming out of the shower, or something equally staged, to show off his rock hard abs. "But he's my friend, just my friend! Who knew he had rock hard abs? Hmmm.... maybe we should get married! Do you think he can hear my heart pounding through the bathroom door I just quickly slammed shut and am now leaning against?" I don't think I could seriously pull off the requisite surprised, then embarrassed, then thoughtful look that follows such an encounter. Any smart actress that swallows her pride and comes off accessible and believable in that dreck deserves two Oscars.

I also hope I'm never handed a script that relies on the protagonist singing karaoke to show her straight-laced character loosening up. Gag. You know how it goes: she does so reluctantly at first, but then by the end of the song her shirt is open and she's rocking out with a fabulous voice. The song that's been chosen for her by her "crazy" friend that secretly signed her up is probably "I Will Survive" or "Lady Marmalade."

But honestly, I'm not above singing cliche karaoke songs in the flesh. I just wish I'd been the first one in a film to do it. Let's go sing karaoke! Who's with me?

So close!

Sometimes this business of show really drives me nuts.

Last Wednesday I had two callbacks for commercials, one for ComEd and the other for Donato's Pizza. I walked out feeling like I rocked them both. Sure enough, I got a call from my agents checking my availability for both commercials... both shooting on the same day. Son of a bitch. But I remained optimistic. I mean, out of two I'm going to book one, right? Wrong.

I was released from both. Normally I don't like to broadcast my disappointments, but this was a new one. I guess there's something to be said for getting as far as I did, that side of it doesn't escape me. I mean, of all the people that auditioned I was seriously considered for both. But it's almost more frustrating to be that close and have it taken away.

So, I have decided to boycott pizza and electricity. I encourage you all to do the same.

Post-Thanksgiving

I try to be grateful for the small things.

I don't wear glasses, so nothing fogs up in my eyes when I step inside on a snowy day. Today I watched a guy get out of the blizzard and onto the bus; his glasses were totally cloudy. What a pain in the ass that must be! The very device that helps him see was out of order!

I equate this annoyance to when my hair gets trapped under the strap of my purse. I get so mad at that purse! How dare it pull my hair! I'll bet he was as irrationally angry at his glasses as I get at my purse.

Or maybe he's not crazy.