That's Cold

Break-ups are rarely easy. But in this case, it's the best decision.

I'm sorry, Winter. It's over.

I can't take any more of this abusive relationship. Every time I walk outside you slap me in the face; I cringe when you touch me. I have to wear long sleeves, lest the neighbors talk; I hate to leave the house. How am I supposed to live my life with you in my way?

And I'm not gonna get all sentimental come next December like I do every year, when you come crawling back all clean and new and beautiful, bearing Christmas gifts. No present could ever make up for the way you've treated me over the past few months.

You're a real jerk, Winter. Hit the skids.

Famous by Association

Mercy Date was on TV! Twice! It was on Image Union: First Dates on Valentine's Day and the subsequent Sunday.

The following was on the station's website:

"Love is in the air, as Image Union celebrates Valentine s Day with a look at first dates. Michael Cera finds out that meeting a date's parents can be down right scary, in Darling, Darling. And in Mercy Date, the tables are turned as one woman finds out the truth behind her blind date set-up.
Now celebrating its 30th anniversary, Image Union keeps evolving – and expanding – to present new, innovative work from filmmakers in Chicago and around the globe. This season is shaping up to be one of our best ever, with everything from dark comedy to Oscar-winning animation, and first-time efforts from promising new filmmakers to award-winning shorts with plenty of star power. And Image Union is still the place for documentaries, experimental work, international films and the best local stuff we can find."

"Some of the most vibrant work in the field of independent video and filmmaking."
— Chicago Tribune

... not too shabby!

Also, I'm finally comfortable enough to announce that I've been cast in the Second City Music Improv House Ensemble. It's all singprov all the time. I'm Wayne Brady!

I had my fourth show on Sunday, and it's going great. I'm so impressed with every member of the cast! They're all talented and I haven't caught a whiff of ego. Whew. I think I may be OK at this stuff. Come see it.

Not again!

When you use the wipers, why does the entire windshield get clean except the spot right in front of your face?

It never fails. Doesn't matter what car you're in, what month it is, if it's raining, snowing, or the tires on the semi in front of you keep splashing up road moisture.

I especially love it when that spot freezes.

Cut to me scrunched over, peering around that stupid spot. It mocks me while I try not to die on the highway because I CAN'T SEE!!

I'll pay 10 million dollars for the car that doesn't have this problem. It'll be a miracle.

The Creepy Edition

I went to CostCo last week to buy a 98-pack of toilet paper and snack on samples of mashed potatoes in Dixie Cups. On my journey around the Warehouse of Excess, I was horrified to see this:



Caskets creep me out; not because of horror movies, it just seems like a ridiculous thing to put a dead body in. What do you need silk lining and a little pillow for after you're dead? Waste of money. So, I'm officially giving the OK to instead go to the next aisle, buy that jumbo plastic tub of pretzels and deposit my remains into it. Then take the money you were spending on a casket (because Lord knows I'm not paying for it) and throw a kickass party.

This way, everyone can snack on pretzels while they're all reminiscing over how amazing I was. I should be an event planner.