Hermit the Freak

The guy that lives in the apartment below me is SO WEIRD!

Every time I walk by his door I hear the oddest sounds: a cat mewing at the top of its little cat lungs, big band music, and what has to be a Dot Matrix printer.

I've lived here for over a year, and I've seen him once... when he was out front walking his cat on a leash. That experience must have been particularly scary, because I haven't seen him since.

Other proof he lives here include the multitude of packages he receives daily and the landlord relaying a complaint of noise when we had THREE people over. That, a party does not make. And they were gone by 9:30pm. What a tool.

I'm not quite sure why he's not living with his mother. I'd slip a note under his door to suggest it, but I don't want him to go into a seizure over the threat of communicating with a human.

Overstock.com

The following was posted on the Chicago Improv Network today:

Comedic Caucasian Male Actor Needed

Wherever are they going to find one of those in Chicago??? And don't take him away from our community when you find him, poster. We'll be hard pressed to find another one!

Me Weekly

I visited L.A. last week for the first time in 13 years. After only one week, I'm pretty sure it's all about me. I love a place that feeds that monster. Get ready...

I won't bore you with all the fun stuff I did... suffice it to say, I was devastated to come back to Chicago. I also won't bore you with all the celebrity sightings I had... because there weren't any! Not a one! I'm SO disappointed. Then my friend Paul pointed out that as long as I'm looking for a celebrity, I won't recognize the one that's already in the room, AKA me. That's sweet, but total bullshit. I really want to see for myself how the stars are just like us! And to top it off my friend Erica saw Sarah Jessica Parker on a trip to NYC last week and Jude Law here in Chicago at the Peninsula today.

Why not me??? Grrrr....