Friday, June 12, 2009

I've seen a phenomenon a few times in the past year, and it must be addressed. Whenever there's some kind of accident, people rush over to the site and hover, watching the action. WTF? Get out of there! You're not helping anything. It's a part of human nature that I abhor.

Yesterday, I was waiting for some friends just outside the ship when I heard a piercing scream behind me. An old man had fallen off the trolley. Now, he was actually fine, since it was literally a foot from the ground. But her unnecessary, over-dramatic shriek attracted all kinds of attention AND freaked the old guy out. I'm sure he was thinking, "Good Lord, what does this woman see that I don't? This must be really bad!" Sure enough, here come all the people that just have to see what's going on. Give the man some privacy, and find something else to preoccupy your tiny minds with, people!

I came up with a joke recently, and I'm not quite sure how to get it out there. I figure this is a good place to start:

Q: What did the judge say to the 2 fruits in California?
A: Canteloupe!

Thank you, thank you (insert grand, sweeping bow here)

2 comments:

bell said...

Ughh...I love over-reactions. 4 years ago I was in Jackson Square in New Orleans and suddenly a blood curdling shriek rang out from one of the courtyards. Apparently, some HUGE black lady was trying out a hammock at a lawnchair kiosk and her impressive mass was bending the supports. She was s-l-o-w-ly descending towards earth (a distance of 1.5 feet from her ass to the ground) and screaming the entire time. It was the kind of scream I would expect if she was being slowly lowered into Molten Lava inch by inch or something. By the way, her butt "landed" before the struts snapped, so there was no impact...just a gentle lowering. I estimate that a crowd of 100+ people had gathered to watch this spectacle.
btw, great ummm... joke. You've got bottle water on board right? I mean, you're not drinking the sea water are you?

Corey said...

There was a "Saved By The Bell" episode where Screech and Kelly were paired up for a science project, but Mr. Belding somehow thought they were planning on running off together to get married. He brought them into his office and tried to talk them out of it, but they had no idea what he was talking about. The following exchange made me a SBTB fan for life:

Belding: "Screech, you can't elope!"
Screech: "Who you calling a canteloupe, you melon head?!"